Wednesday, September 26, 2018

The Struggle

I am behind on reviews right now. I hate that feeling of letting authors down and not having things done on time but sometimes life throws us curve balls.

The kids are back in sports so all of a sudden my schedule is through the roof with practices/games most nights and then two mornings a week I am at the rink at 5:30am for each of the kids to play hockey. I love watching them play so I will not complain (too much) but it really cuts down on the time I have to read.

Then last night life threw me a huge curve ball.

One of my friends died on Saturday and we learned of it yesterday and now we are trying to come to terms with it. She took her own life and it is something that all of us that work with her have to come to terms with - could I have done more?

She had been off with knee surgery and had been going through a difficult time with her daughters lately due to decisions that they each had made and she was put in the middle. Yet never did I think that this was something that crossed her mind. 

I am struggling so much as I wish I had been there more for her. I have been down and struggling myself in the past so I can't help but wonder if I could have reached out more to her. She knew how busy I am with the kids but had I known she was down I would have put everything aside to help her.

Please have faith in each other to help each other through these dark times and call someone who will be there for you.

I know she is no longer fighting her demons but my heart is broken for her husband and her three beautiful daughters. My heart aches for her two new granddaughters who will never know her and will miss out on so much without her there.

Heaven gained a beautiful angel but I have lost a great friend and my heart is broken.

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